So I meant to update. And do a few blogs, not least of all my round up of 2011. Then I was suddenly employed, dealing with a poorly Gof, struggling at college and part dreading, part looking forward to Christmas. I flailed. And worried. Made cake pops and watched too many Christmas movies and drunken knock off Baileys because we couldn’t justify spending that much on the real deal.
The end of 2011 was bittersweet. Last year seen a turning point in a lot of ways, both focused and floundering. I went back to college but still couldn’t find work. Then in November, I did – La Senza hired me as a Christmas temp, which had potential to become permanent. I strove to excel, which was easy since I was dealing with a range of stock that I as a loyal La Senza customer, had prior and detailed knowledge of. I loved it there. I was routinely complimented for doing such a great job, and I had high hopes I would be kept on. Then La Senza went into administration. Last ones in were the first out. The ladies I had the fortune to work alongside, ladies who had mostly worked there for years, are worried about their jobs. At the time of writing, La Senza have announced 81 stores will close. So far, this does not include the store I worked in, but my heart aches for all those nationwide who need to start 2012 with job hunting. Me, I’m back to square one. No biggie. I’m upset, but I’ve been here a long time. At least I’ll get, as one of the shift managers said – a fucking stonking reference. For just over a months work, it’s a blessing.
It’s no longer a secret to the majority who read this blog that Gof is off work and has been for a while because he stopped being able to handle the pressure of working in what has been, for a long time, a very tense environment. He’s spent years being strong and now his strength needs to be directed to helping himself be well again. He is finally getting the help he needs and although it’s tough now, this will be the foundations of a better life and stronger resolve to find a new love what he does next. I’m not going to lie, as the crazy person in this relationship it’s been heartbreaking to watch him suffer, and scary to be the one who needs to be, well – strong. In that though, I am also thankful that it has made me realise how far I have come, that I have the will to keep going and support him now. It makes me grateful for him, and for everyone in my life who has been the rock I clung to in my own efforts to better mental health. I now know first hand what it must have been like to be on the outside, desperately trying to help someone you love. Basically, I’m glad of what I went through because I’m using the memories of me at my worst to empathise and help my love right himself and steady his course. We’ll get through. We always do.
So I say a fond farewell to 2011 and look forward to exploring the many changes it wrought. With everything that has gone before, we are now set firmly on a path of exciting new discoveries and with a determination that has very quietly but firmly snaked into both of us over the course of the last few month. Now is the time to make it happen.
Coffee & Hot Tease will continue to make it’s presence known in various fairs and shows. I will complete my NC, and potentially go further, to HNC/D level. I will get a new job. Gof will work towards his hopes and dreams too, but I’ll let him tell you about that here. I’m going to write more too.
Most importantly, I decided my New Years Resolution is I’m going to experiment more with hair styles. Last night’s 60′s inspired beehive was a hit. Don’t worry, it’s always gonna be RED.
Health, wealth (in any form) and happiness. This is my hope for you. All the best in 2012.
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All opinions are mine. But not necessarily correct. Just mine.
